Beholden to No One

One of my old posts just got a disturbing response from Anonymous, who apparently took a break from masturbating with a lubricated thimble to shit on the Revolution. I've got a thick skin (mostly because of burns suffered during childhood) and normally I wouldn't pay any mind. In this case, though, I want to dispel a few myths spouted by Mr. Anonymous.

Here's his post in full, followed by my rebuttal.

I really hope yall are employed by TB as the new form of promotional advertising corporations are paying people to do on small internet scales. Taco Bell is about the bottom of the barrel of fast foods, fast foods are the bottom of the barrel of the food service industry.

POINT-BY-POINT ANALYSIS

I really hope yall...

First off, y'all is spelled with an apostrophe, hick. Second, "who all" are you addressing? There are thousands in our movement, but there's only one Taco Bell Champion. So if you've got nasty comments, Clitus, why not direct them to me and me alone.

...are employed by TB as the new form of promotional advertising corporations are paying people to do on small internet scales...

Where the hell did you learn to write? I wish that I had some hilarious, biting comment to describe how/why this is so badly written, but words fail me. (I'm not the best writer ever, either.) Regardless, you've embarrassed yourself before all the world by penning such a syntactically poor sentence. Quick question about "promotional advertising": is there any other kind?

More substantively, I want to make *absolutely clear* that I don't work for Taco Bell. I'm an agent of change outside the system, like those Catholic groups that lobby the Pope to stop priests from molesting kids. My objectivity should be eminently clear to anyone who reads the site. I've posted some harsh criticism, accusing Taco Bell of idiocy, discrimination, and most recently, mass rape. I'm beholden to no one, David Novak least of all.

Would I work for Taco Bell to do "promotional advertising on small internet scales"? For free tacos, I sure as hell would. I've already tried to work for TB once. But as they did then, I expect TB would refuse association with this blog in order to keep me pure of heart.

...Taco Bell is about the bottom of the barrel of fast foods...

This is where Anonymous reveals himself to be either a crackhead or a victim of oral cancer.

...fast foods are the bottom of the barrel of the food service industry.

Sure, Anonymous, just go ahead and take a dump on the jobs of millions of working-class Americans and an industry that generates over $170 billion dollars in revenue. Just go back to your landed estate and enjoy your foie gras and have the rest of us eat cake . Or perhaps I misunderstood your metaphor. Did you use "bottom of the barrel" to mean that Taco Bell is the base, the foundation, the very bedrock of the food service industry, without which everything else would collapse and pour out? Because that's the God's honest truth.