Thursday, April 27, 2006


Champions, we're three days away from making history. Since many of you have joined the revolution recently, here's a recap:

David Novak is the CEO of Yum Inc., the parent company of Taco Bell. While some of you may have recently read about the President of Taco Bell, Emil Brolick, and his possible departure, let there be no doubt: David Novak is the czar/tsar of all things Taco Bell!

We are trying to recruit David to be the greatest Taco Bell Champion of us all. How? By sending him hundreds of thousands of birthday cards on May 1. (We don't know when his birthday is, but I'm assuming it's the same day as my Mom's.)

I want each of you to send David a birthday card that (a) wishes him a happy birthday, (b) demands a Taco Bell in Midtown, and (c) mentions Taco Bell Champion!. So bust out your Hallmark gift cards, store credits and merchandize memos. We'll need them if we're going to clog David's mailroom like a priest's prostate.

Here is David's office address. Be sure to post-mark your cards on May 1. Godspeed.

David Novak
Birthday Boy and Taco Bell CEO
Yum! Brands Inc.
1441 Gardiner Lane
Lousiville, KY 40213


Anonymous said...

I read your story here:

and listened to your podcast. Man, you are so RIGHT ON! rock out with your cock out, brother.

Johnny said...

YEAH! great press coverage; you newsy fuckers mighta dropped the ball on iraq and yer in the process of fumbling on iran, but at least you made it to the endzone with the CHAMPION. johnny to all the johnny-come-latelies who better be flooding this shit with hits: LET'S DO THIS!

Anonymous said...

Where'd the updates go?

Anonymous said... is teh funnies.

nien said...

man, taco bell is a good idea for me until i actually go and eat there. afterwards, im blowing chunks out of my ass.

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