Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Champions, let me introduce you to David C. Novak, the chairman and CEO of Taco Bell's parent company. He is at once our most potent ally and our greatest enemy.

He holds in his hands the power to liberate us all from TB starvation in Midtown. He apparently saved the company from financial insolvency, ensuring the availabilty of Taco Bell tacos for years to come. According to TB's previous CEO, "David is the most effective leader I have ever worked with." And he looks like a sexier Steve Kroft.

Novak can be our Pancho Villa (except that he would work within the system instead of organizing an army of banditos).

HOWEVER, there are troubling signs about Novak. For one, he is the mastermind behind combining Taco Bells with KFCs and Pizza Huts to create unholy fast food abominations. Furthermore, he opened three new restaurants outside the United States every day in 2002 while New Yorkers like myself went without. His run for the border is apparently not figurative.

So what do we do? We start TBChampion's FIRST MAJOR INITIATIVE! The time for chatter is over. We must convince this man, Novak, to join our crusade. And we should do so by celebrating his birthday.

We do not know when his birthday is, but I propose that he shares a birthday with my mother. May 1. Novak will be flooded by thousands of birthday cards, each mentioning this blog and each requesting (demanding) that he provide us with a present to celebrate his miraculous birth in 1953. Each of you, and all of your friends, should send a birthday card to:

David Novak
Birthday Boy and Taco Bell CEO
Yum! Brands Inc.
1441 Gardiner Lane
Lousiville, KY 40213

More to be posted as this initiative evolves. But for now think: David Novak. May 1. Birthday. Hope.


Anonymous said...

On Taco Bell and sport:

Anonymous said...

I don't know if this helps you, but there is a taco bell express in the back of a deli on 3rd Ave at 50th St. It is sort of hidden, but as of October, it was still there and had long lines at lunch time. The deli is just north of 50th St, on the East side of Third Ave. I think there is a small sign for a TB out front. Hope this helps, Tiger.

David said...

You know, not more than 4 years back, there was a Taco Bell on Broadway, between 32nd and 33rd - not sure what you're using as the reference for the exact midtown point, but this has to be pretty close. No abomination either, this was the straight-up real deal. I'm assuming its since closed, however, as a search on TB's site yields nothing.

Which is, dare I say, a GOOD thing. Now don't get me wrong - I'm a huge TB enthusiast (my current job has me travelling to Miami on a weekly basis, and I consider the ability to drive to a TB drive-through on basically a nightly basis to be one of the major perks of working down here.)

You see, on my second visit to said TB, years back, there was a mouse. Not on the ground, or by the wall, but right out on the freakin counter -top. A real live mouse. When an employee finally saw it, she screamed, used the money I just handed her to swipe it off the counter and on to the floor. I don't know what happened after that because I had already turned to leave in disgust.

This said, I fully support your cause. However I feel you should push for a CLEAN, wholesome location for the dining establishment that we hopefully, will someday soon celebrate the existence of.

Anonymous said...

The UWS could use a little TB lovin' too...there used to be a TB (no whores attached) at 94th & Bway but they took it out and replaced it with that awful fake ice cream that depressed single girls eat. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
Meanwhile the one on 14th St. has maximum whorage, including Pizza Hut AND Krispy Kreme, but at least they have the Crunchwrap Supreme.

Anonymous said...

I second the Taco Bell Express on 3rd Avenue between 50th and 51st. It is definitely still there - visit, enjoy.

Also, not exactly midtown, but I pass it every day on my way to work - there is a Taco Bell/Dunkin Donuts (the horror) on 28th and Madison.

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