Friday, March 24, 2006

NY Metro, Mercadito, and Why I Hate It Here

I was reviewing the annual Best of New York issue of New York Metro, and apparently this reputable magazine has awarded "Mercadito" the "Best Fish Taco, 2006."


WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?! I'm sure "Mercadito" has very good bullshit, fancy food. I'm sure I might like to take my girlfriend there (she has "better taste" than I do). But, honestly, WHAT THE FUCK!

This picture does not look like a taco. Taco Bell tacos are fucking tacos. The Ortega shit I cook at home are fucking tacos. And, while not as good as TB, the stuff those crappy Chinese/Mexican-combo places make are fucking tacos. Not this bullshit that "Mercadito" makes. Fish? Come on. I love Long John Silver's, but even if Taco Bell made a fish taco, I couldn't get behind it.

YET, New York Metro has "Fish Taco" as its only taco category. (Perhaps because they realize that TB would win the normal taco category every year for eternity.) This just goes to show why New York is such a crap food place. Because everyone--including a reputable magazine--is concerned only with spending money and looking fancy. Well, Donald Trump, you can go eat your fucking fish tacos. Not me, padre.

One conclusion we could draw from this sad discovery is that the conspicuously consuming population of New York, especially in midtown, can't sustain a Taco Bell. Taco Bell's deliciosity-to-price ratio is too good for them. Then my quest--our quest, friends--is dead.

Another reaction is that this review proves how ripe the market is for quality, Taco Bell tacos. People have been eating "Mercadito" shit for too long. They're ready. The time is now. Let me ask you this, Mr. Taco Bell Executive: Don't you think that people would be willing to pay $.69 for one of your delicious products, given that they pay $800 for this...


Anonymous said...

ciao sono paul visitail mio sito internet come io ho visitato il tuo! pescheria!ti ringrazio anticipatamente.pescheria

Anonymous said...

If you think TB has the best tacos, you must be on crack or you are just an idiot. You probably think Mc donalds has the best burguers.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...Maybe before you make some piss-poor rant on how much BS it is for a restaurant to serve fish tacos, how's about you expand your horizon a bit and try it before you talk smack?

As for Taco Bell...I sure hope you're kidding. I bet canned dog food tastes better than the gruel they serve there.

And yes, I'm entitled to that opinion because I've actually tried it (and promptly spit it out).